So… we are buying a house. Our journey to home ownership is a story of the deep, abiding love of God. It’s a story of learning to trust, even in lengthy seasons of great uncertainty. It’s a story of the generosity and love of others. I’ll tell you the story sometime. It’s a good one.
But for now, since we are buried in cardboard boxes and I literally have no idea how to locate any pair of underwear except the ones I’m wearing . . . a little humor is in order.
12 Things You Feel When Buying a Home
- Must… see… every… house… online…
Surely there’s been another one posted since I checked eighteen seconds ago, right?
2. These real estate postings are totally designed to make piece-of-junk houses sound decent
Apparently “light delayed maintenance” is a seller’s code for “missing a wall.”
3. Hooray! You found a house you love!
This was so fun and easy! Hooray!
4. But it has other offers on it…
Why are you cheating on me, house? I thought we were soul mates!
5. Your realtor tells you that you should probably offer over asking price
Yeah, the market is hot. I get it. But I also want to be able to afford to keep the lights on in my new house.
6. Offer rejected.
I will never love again.
6a. But you still need somewhere to live. So you begin anew.
Not like you have a choice.
6b. After repeating steps 1-5 above (with fear and trembling), your offer on another house is accepted!
This is the best day of my life!
7. But now it’s time for inspections.
You mean… we’re not done yet?
8. And the inspections find some things. Some not-so-good things. And one or two really terrible things.
What do you mean the “new” air conditioner is actually from 1978 and held together with duct tape and chewing gum?
9. This is the point where it feels like you are just throwing all of your hard-earned money down a hole
Just take it. It’s fine. $100 for a mold inspection? $300 to fix the $200 dishwasher? Thousands and thousands for a new roof? Whatevs. Not like my kids need to go to college someday.
10. As escrow closes, you suddenly feel terrified you’ve made a horrible mistake
It’s not like you’re buying a bathmat! This is serious money, people!
11. Then there’s a hitch in the closing, and you have to wait a couple more days. You realize that all you want in the world is to move into this house RIGHT NOW.
Red tape, I hate you!
(This is totally where we are today. It is not my favorite.)
12. Then it’s done. You sign the papers; they hand you the keys. You own a home.
You knew it would work out all along, didn’tcha?
Have you ever purchased a home? What was it like for you?