Courtney Ellis

You guys, as of August I’ve been decidedly in my mid-30s. And there are some things I thought I’d know by now. But I don’t.

Don’t judge me. I’m a work in progress.

1. How to change the oil in a car

You mean taking it to the mechanic isn’t the only way?

2. A second language

You’ve probably heard the joke: What do you call someone who knows three languages? Trilingual. What do you call someone who knows two languages? Bilingual. What do you call someone who knows one language? American.

Pretty much.

Greek and Hebrew don’t count (I’m a pastor, they’re required in seminary, and they are both DEAD languages. Helpful in sermon preparation. Not so helpful on mission trips.)

High school Spanish? Yeah, that is sooooooo not in my brain any longer.

The fact that I’m mono-lingual is depressing to me. Gotta get on that one.

3. The ins and outs of buying a house

I have no idea what the future holds for us in terms of housing. Southern California is notoriously expensive, rental prices have increased 20% in the two years we’ve been here, and though we’d love to buy a house a down payment is probably out of our grasp.

But that doesn’t mean I haven’t been picking friends’ brains about home buying. It feels like something I should know more about by now, especially since it sounds like Latin to me. Escrow? Is that really even a word?

(And as an aside, does anyone else in SoCal have to turn off House Hunters because it makes you jealous of what homes cost almost everywhere else in America? $200,000 for FIVE BEDROOMS and a FIVE ACRE YARD?! Why don’t we ALL live in Nebraska?!)

4. How to use a charcoal grill

Embarrassed to say I’ve never done this one. Though I’m a bit clumsy, so there is the chance I’d burn the condo and/or neighborhood down if I wasn’t properly supervised…

5. Adulting in general

I’ll admit that there are times (blow out diapers, flat tires, giant spider on the living room wall, to name just a few) when I look around for an adult to take care of things. Then I realize: I’m it.

Terrifying. Terrifying, I tell you.

Maybe by 40 I’ll get the hang of things.

How about you? What did you think you’d know how to do by your 30s (or 20s, 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, or 80s)?

And who wants to teach me how to change the oil?