10 Ways Being a Parent is like Being on Survivor

Except, you know, harder.

  1. Everything is dirty all the time.
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Everything. All the time.

2. You’re involved in lots of physical challenges

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Excuse me, how do people get a 25-pound toddler into shoes he doesn’t want to wear?!

3. There are days you definitely want to vote people off the island

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If you tell me the dinner that I slaved over for two hours because you requested it is yucky one more time, I’m snuffing your torch, kid.

4. Someone’s always naked

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Where did your diaper go? And how did you take it off in the first place?!

5. When you get hungry and tired, you snap at those closest to you

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Either I hate everyone in this house, or I need a hamburger. Not sure.

6. But then you apologize, because you really do love them

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Love you. Mean it.


7. There are no secrets in your house

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Oh my gosh, kid, did you really just tell the cashier how much I weigh?

8. You keep trying, even though some days you get absolutely nowhere

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It took me literally two months to think to move the granola bars to a higher cabinet in the kitchen. Two months of the baby dumping them all onto the floor five times a day.

I have two master’s degrees. That’s how tired having kids makes you.

9. Your life is full of so much dirt that you barely notice it anymore

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Ah, it’s only nineteen pounds of beach sand. It’ll sweep up.

10. Jeff Probst is right – it truly is the adventure of a lifetime

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Hold on to your hats, friends. It’s gonna be one heckuva ride.

3 thoughts on “10 Ways Being a Parent is like Being on Survivor

  1. This is amazing! The granola bar thing sums up life so well. I’ll qualify the not noticing the dirt though- you don’t notice it, UNTIL you are about to have company. Then it becomes all too noticeable…


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