Courtney Ellis

I went 10 days overdue with my son. 10 long, long, loooooooooong days.

I live in fear of going overdue with baby #2.

Every day you go overdue as an expectant mother feels like a month. A long, achy month with a watermelon strapped to your front. Your back hurts. Your ankles swell. You can’t sleep at night. You feel a little bit like a failure for missing your due date. You’re watching the days of your maternity leave tick by with no baby in sight.

The nursery is ready.

You’ve done all the nesting a person can possibly do.

You watch the bathroom scale continue to tick up… and up… and up.

The receptionist at your doctor’s office cheerily exclaims, “Wow, everyone else due the same day as you has already had their baby! You must be really ready, huh?”

It can get pretty miserable.

Then there are the comments people make:

“Haven’t had that baby yet, eh?”

“Wow, this is taking a long time, isn’t it?”

“Haven’t you tried spicy food/long walks/trampolines/castor oil/random kooky home remedy that totally worked for me forty years ago?”

There are the friends and family members who keep calling and texting you even though – duh – you will let them know when the baby is on the outside and every question about whether you’ve had that baby just adds to your pregnancy rage.

For someone already feeling hormonal, exhausted, and manatee-like, these things can push us over the edge. But – good news! – here are ten things you can take comfort in if you’re overdue with a baby.

10. You are now officially allowed to respond to any of the above comments with four simple words: “I WILL CUT YOU.”

9. You are also officially allowed to stare daggers at anyone who asks absolutely anything of you besides, “Would you like a cookie?” “Can I get you a glass of water?” or “Would you like your back rubbed?”

8. Your baby is statistically much more likely to be a good nurser.

7. Ditto for being on the bigger side and, hence, sleeping for slightly longer stretches.

6. You have some great ammunition for when your child is a teenager. “You’re mad about your curfew? Really? You wouldn’t even come out of my body when you were supposed to! See this stretch mark? And this one? THESE ARE YOUR FAULT!”

5. Any fear you might have had of labor becomes eclipsed by your increasingly loud inner monologue of “GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT I DON’T CARE HOW MUCH IT HURTS JUST GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT.”

4. No matter what, you only have two more weeks of being pregnant. Yep – after 42 weeks most states/doctors/hospitals/midwives will induce labor no matter what.

3. You get to join the special sorority of other semi-crazed mothers who went overdue.

2. It will end. All babies come out.

[I don’t know why, but this mantra brought me special comfort with my son. There were moments when I actually felt like I would be pregnant/huge/miserable forever.]

And finally…

1. You can totally freak out strangers, salespeople, the mailman, etc. by responding to their questions of, “When are you due?” by deadpanning “YESTERDAY.” Watch how squeamish they get. It’s some of the best fun you can have.

 

Did you go overdue with a baby?

What helped you through?